Three years ago, I was standing in my kitchen in Brunswick at 11:00 PM, crying over a pile of half-shredded sweet potatoes. I’d bought this $89 ‘multi-function’ piece of junk from a big-box retailer because the box said it could do everything. It couldn’t. The motor started emitting this thin, acrid blue smoke that smelled like a dying slot car, and the plastic spindle literally melted into the blade. That was the moment I realized that most ‘best food processor reviews australia’ lists are written by people who have never actually tried to turn five kilos of chickpeas into falafel in one sitting.
I’m not a chef. I work in logistics and I write this blog because I’m tired of seeing people waste money on plastic garbage that ends up in a landfill after six months. If you want a real review, you have to look at the motor, not the number of attachments. Most of those attachments—the citrus juicers, the dough hooks that don’t actually knead—are just clutter that you’ll eventually shove into the back of that cupboard above the fridge where things go to die.
The expensive French one everyone worships
Let’s talk about the Magimix 5200XL. It’s the one every foodie influencer in Melbourne or Sydney posts on their marble countertops. I bought one after the ‘Great Sweet Potato Incident’ of 2021. It costs about $700, which is an insane amount of money for a bucket with a spinning knife. But here is the thing: it uses an induction motor. Most cheap processors use a universal motor (the kind that screams like a jet engine). The Magimix just… hums. It’s heavy as hell—about 11kg—which means it doesn’t dance across the bench when you’re making nut butter.
I’ve used mine at least three times a week for three years. I once tracked it for a month and processed 22kg of various vegetables and meats. It didn’t even get warm. What I mean is—actually, let me put it differently. It’s the only appliance I own that feels like it was built by people who hate planned obsolescence. However, the storage box for the blades is a nightmare. It’s like a 3D puzzle box designed by a sadist. If you put one blade in the wrong way, the lid won’t close. It drives me absolutely mental every single Sunday night when I’m cleaning up.
The Magimix is a tank, but the storage case is a psychological torture device.
I know people will disagree with me on this, but I think the ‘mini-bowl’ that comes with the Magimix is a total scam. They tell you it’s for ‘small jobs’ like chopping one onion or some garlic. In reality, the stuff just sprays out of the mini-bowl and gets the medium and large bowls dirty anyway. Now you have three bowls to wash instead of one. I’ve stopped using the inserts entirely. I’d rather wash the big bowl once. It’s more efficient. Efficiency is everything when you’ve had a long day at the office and just want some pesto.
The Breville Kitchen Wizz is fine, I guess
If you don’t want the French vibe, you usually end up looking at the Breville Kitchen Wizz 15 Pro. It’s the ‘Aussie’ choice, even though it’s all made overseas now. It’s fast. Like, terrifyingly fast. It turns a block of cheddar into shreds in about four seconds. I tested it against my neighbor’s unit—we actually timed it—and it hit 78 decibels compared to the Magimix’s 72. Not a huge difference, but the Breville has a higher pitch that sets my teeth on edge.
The Breville is for people who want features. It has a timer. It has an adjustable slicing disc with 24 settings. Do you need 24 settings? No. You need ‘thin’ and ‘not thin.’ But some people love those bells and whistles. My issue is the longevity. I’ve seen the chrome-plated plastic on the buttons start to peel after eighteen months on three different units owned by friends. It looks cheap once that happens.
I used to think Breville was the gold standard for mid-range. I was completely wrong. They’re high-end prices for mid-range build quality. It’s a bit of a letdown.
The part nobody talks about
Cleaning. Nobody talks about the cleaning. If a food processor has a handle with a hollow cavity, run away. Food gets trapped in there, it gets moldy, and you can’t get it out without a pipe cleaner and a lot of swearing. The Magimix bowls are smooth. The Breville has a few too many nooks and crannies for my liking.
Anyway, I digress. The point is that if you’re looking for the best food processor reviews in Australia, you’re going to see a lot of love for KitchenAid too. I’m going to be unfair here: I hate KitchenAid food processors. I have no rational data for this other than I find their lid-locking mechanism incredibly fiddly. It feels like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube just to make some hummus. I refuse to recommend them. They make great mixers, but their processors feel like an afterthought. There, I said it.
The ‘I might be wrong’ section
Maybe I’m being too hard on the cheap stuff. If you only use a processor once a year to make stuffing for a Christmas turkey, then yeah, go to Kmart or Target and spend $60. But if you’re trying to eat more whole foods or you’re doing the Sunday meal prep thing, the cheap ones are a false economy. You’ll buy three of them in five years. That’s $180 plus the frustration of the blue smoke.
- Magimix 5200XL: Best for people who want to buy it once and die with it.
- Breville Kitchen Wizz: Best for people who love precision and gadgets.
- Kenwood Multipro: I actually forgot this existed because it’s so forgettable. Don’t bother.
- Ninja: It’s just a blender that had a mid-life crisis. Not a real processor.
I honestly believe the pulse button is a psychological trick. Most people just hold it down anyway. We’ve been convinced that we need ‘control’ over our chopping, but if the blades are sharp enough, two taps does the job. We’re overthinking the buttons because the manufacturers need something new to put on the marketing flyers every year.
I don’t know why we’ve collectively decided that we need 1500 watts of power to chop a carrot. My Magimix is 1100W and it’s more powerful than ‘2000W’ cheap brands because induction motors have actual torque. It’s like comparing a tractor to a leaf blower. One does work, the other just makes noise.
I still haven’t figured out why the replacement bowls for these things cost $150. It’s just plastic. That feels like a genuine scam that the whole industry is in on. But until someone starts 3D printing food-grade polycarbonate bowls in their garage, we’re stuck with it.
Buy the Magimix. Or don’t. Just stop buying the ones that smell like burning plastic.
